Ethical writing across cultures and through the centuries has professed that we are seriously affected by the people we spend time with, and recent clinical research is confirming this belief. In this article, we will examine some things to consider when deciding who to spend time with.

Find Positive People

If you spend time with positive people, you’re likely to feel positive too. Oftentimes critical and negative people are only interested in bringing the people around them down to their level of misery.

If you don’t enjoy unsolicited advice, don’t force yourself to hang out with those types of people either. Try to pick friends who encourage you, celebrate your success, and enjoy life.

Find Ambitious People

It’s good to be friends with people who have ambition and a drive to do something meaningful in life. However, it is also good to avoid befriending people who are overly ambitious about chasing money, fame, and power, because such people have been known to use, abuse, and then lose people who no longer fit into their agenda.

Avoid Risky People

Try to avoid participating in friendships with people who engage in risky behaviors such as drugs, excessive alcohol, promiscuity, or gambling.

You might be the “square” one of the bunch, but eventually, after spending enough time in their company, it’s likely that you’ll get involved with their type of risky behavior as well.

Try to pick friends who have (mentally and physically) healthy hobbies, such as music, sports, and art.

Find Kind People

Make friends with people who are kind, caring, and giving. Their behavior will rub off on you, and they may influence you into participating in the world in a more giving way.

Friends who are stingy, irritable, or cruel to those around them are influence you want to avoid.

Find Friends with Good Relationships

Try to be friends with people who have good, healthy relationships with their family and other friends. Friends who gossip excessively may not be so good to hang around. Besides, who knows what they’re saying about you?

Friends who are verbally abusive to their children or spouses can also be a bad influence on you, and you might not even realize it until you’re in the middle of an argument.


Nobody is perfect, and almost everybody has some issue to work on. But despite the faults that we all have here and there, if you consider the above points when choosing people to spend time with, you’ll find yourself surrounded by a circle of good influences.

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